next ride

Lying in bed, listening to the silence of three a.m., listening to the soft beat of my heart against my skin.
Chills run up and down my spine as i lay upon the sheets.
Twitches pulsate from my thighs and biceps.
The darkness doesn't seem so dark, and the light isn't so bright.
Stuck in this stand still with you.
Sick of these games, sick of the truth.
Just tell me a dirty little lie to move on.
Tell me you don't want me in your arms, tell me you don't want to be with me...
Stop texting me, stop talking to me, stop trying to comfort me.
Leave me stranded on the side of the road with a pistol and a bullet.
Alone, mending my own heart, losing piece by piece as you walk away.
Replacing the good with the bad... it's all i ever know.
I don't know what i would do without the pain, the fake smiles and laughs.
Look into my eyes, there's nothing there but cold, painful, hatred.
You could have saved me, you could have lifted me up from the depths, but you teased me.
Left me reaching for more.
Let me think i was worth something in your eyes.
Just tell me those damn little lies or i swear i won't stop.
Picking it apart piece by piece as you glance over your shoulder.
Walking away from a crippled heart.
Waiting for the next ride down this broken boulevard that is my life.
Softly awakening to the scars and empty bottles.
I'm just lying to myself.

Round Two

I can't seem to stop this silence.
A cold sweat and an empty bottle.
Rags covered in blood line the doorway.
A child's last wish.
Growing up too fast, getting lost in the middle of the night.
Standing alone in the middle of a one way street.
Continuing to follow this god forsaken road.
To nowhere, to anywhere.
This demon consumes me as i scream for help, but the words don't come out.
Suddenly I'm awake again...
Nothing but a bad dream.
Lying alone in the dark listening to the silence of the night.
Blood drips onto the concrete floor from an old scar.
Dirty needles lie on the table, An unpacked pipe is shattered on the ground.
Pictures are torn up, memories are blurred.
Out of Cigarettes for the come down, out of hope.
Relapse, withdrawal, headaches, unanswered prayers, shattered glass, empty pill bottles.
Day breaks, round two.